This is a question a lot of us ask ourselves every time we suffer heartache or emotional pain; how to move on from a bad past? Hanging on to your past can be a mindful decision, just like letting it go and moving on can also be a prudent decision.
In this article, we’re going to look at ways you can move on from a bad past. Below are some of the ways to go about it:
Learn from your bad past but do not live there
Those negative experiences you had, no matter how sensitive they are, can be useful for learning and future experiences. Take some time to analyze your ordeal and think of the things you can benefit from it.
You can learn from your experiences by answering these simple questions:
- What occurred? Reply only by facing the facts
- What kind of emotions do I feel? You can write them down if you like
- How can I utilize this to empower myself and my emotions?
After you’re done answering these questions, it is time to move on. Reflecting on your past for some time is reasonable, but living in it will only keep those negative feelings around.
Learn to express yourself
Do not hesitate to get the pain you’re feeling off your chest. Whether it is discussing with the person who has hurt you or who you abused, letting it out by jotting it down or expressing your emotions to a friend can help you sort out those emotions. Dr. Edmund Bourne, the author of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, advises that suppressing your emotions could lead to depression, anxiety, headache, and high blood pressure.
Also, grief specialist Gloria Horsley from OpentoHope says that “When it is time to express your feelings, ensure that you use the letter “I” in your messages. This would help you define the extent of your feelings and share them with a person who will pay attention without passing judgment.
Trying to be the victim is easy and occasionally feels good, particularly when it concerns acknowledging the truth. The issue is, criticizing others stops you from moving forward
Life coach Ruchika Batra explained that criticizing others empowers someone else and makes us feel small. Batra also asserts that “When we blame people, we automatically enter the negative zone. We hate a person or some external factor because we aren’t able to shape life into our favour.”
Concentrate on the present
Among the most effective mean of letting go of the past is to embrace the present. Rather than you dwelling in your past and end up getting consumed by it, keep yourself active and appreciate the current moment.
Acquire a new skill, meditate, exercise, have dinner with a colleague, or meet with new people, whatever it is, don’t re-live your past. Find something that encourages you or something to devote your life to. Dwelling in the moment, also referred to as mindfulness, pertains to being with your feelings as they are; you neither suppress them nor shoving them away.
Psychology Today asserts that “mindful individuals are hopeful, more spirited, more compassionate, and more secure.” For you to attain a more conscious state, be familiar with your feelings, look for new experiences, and acknowledge your negative emotions as merely being a part of life.
Disconnect yourself for a little time
Take some time to clear your head; you don’t need to go backpacking through Europe. Just disconnect yourself from the situation by alienating yourself from individuals, places, or things that prompt your memories.
Exercising the means of disconnecting yourself will provide you with the opportunity to experience something positive, even if it’s just camping at a close campground without any access to the internet.
Think of the people around you
Observe the people around you, particularly the ones who send a negative vibe, and are constantly pulling you down. Or the individuals who are linked to the past that you are attempting to walk away from. You might need to stay away from these people to discover people that will empower you.
There are a lot of ways to coming in contact with new people, and it includes attending local conferences and meetups. Don’t be shy to interact with new individuals, get yourself out there, and meet new people who can support you.
Forgive people who wronged you, that also include yourself
If a person has hurt you, the last thing that you might want to do is pardon them. However, as Dr. Wayne Dyer explains, “Forgiving a person is crucial for spiritual growth.” Dr. Dyer also provided 15 ways to assist you in forgiving someone, and some of the steps include “acknowledging the bad past while moving on,” “creating a new pact with yourself,” “avoid going to bed angry,” and “being compassionate and generous.”
At the same time, forgive yourself, remember that no one is perfect, and we are prone to mistakes. Rather than blaming yourself for your past errors, give yourself a break, and direct your attention towards the lessons you’ve learned. The instant you let go of that anger and resentment, you will be able to move forward.
Create fresh memories
Start creating fresh and encouraging memories to replace those negative ones you had from your bad past. Spend time with the individuals that make you happy, or do things that bring you joy. Creating new memories is better than being dwelling in the past. It’s been realized by scientists that having numerous old memories makes it more challenging to create fresh ones. So, let go of old memories and create new ones.
Letting go of the past can hurt, but you need to make the mindful decision to seize control of the situation. This can take a lot of time and practice. However, be good to yourself as you learn how to discern problems and enjoy the small successes.