Companionship is one of the perks of having a partner who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Many people in a relationship generally have a lot to say about their partners, whether good or bad, and one common issue that some individuals have to deal with is a nagging partner.
Studies have shown that one of the complications that relationship counselors meet with includes partners who nag. This isn’t uncommon, and it has become a trend that not only drains the juice from a good relationship but also ends it. Many relationships that would have stood the test of time have ended because nagging or consistent complaints have been incorporated into the relationship.
Several people find themselves in relationships where their partners mentally drain them. Lashing back at partners who make you feel inept, bad, or wrong is almost always the first thing to do, but that can end up badly. Some spouses may even feel attacked by subtle yet hurtful words said to them by their significant others. Dealing with a nagging partner isn’t only possible but helps to improve relationships.
Some of the immediate response to dealing with a nagging partner may bring short-term rewards but may also affect your relationship in the long run. Koleolat has drafted a few practical steps to deals with your wife’s or husband’s criticizing and nagging:
Consider your partner’s opinion from a different angle
Often, an impulsive comment may come off as a criticism or a nag when it might not be the intention. Some comments can be very insensitive, and more meanings can be read especially if your partner is in the habit of putting you down verbally.
This can be tricky to comprehend, but it helps to catch your breath first before lashing out. Rather than let your emotions take over you with whatever insensitive statement your partner must have made, you should be sure they aren’t joking.
It helps to be entirely sure that your partner didn’t mean anything critical or negative with what was said. You can ease the tension by asking the right questions like, “would you, please shed some light on what you meant by …” Getting more details from your significant other on issues you are confused about should be done with a sense of understanding what was said.
Not everything should be taken personally
A person could become critical or prickly for several reasons. In most cases, there is more to do with the person who is nagging than the person the nagging is directed. Individuals who are on the receiving end are encouraged not to take it personally.
We are not suggesting that you present yourself for bullying, but we urge you to think outside the box so you can find ways to see the nagging or criticism for what it is. This is supposed to help you connect deeply with your partner.
It’s not uncommon for partners who are affected by work-related stress to lash-out even when they don’t mean to. Also, more consideration is needed if your partner is dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety or depression.
This doesn’t excuse being verbally abused, but by not dwelling on the negative effect of stress-inspired criticism can help in dealing with a nagging partner.
Not paying evil for evil is the fastest way to make a significant difference in dealing with a nagging partner. Affected persons can calm themselves first, so they aren’t on the same level of anger, resentment, and irritation as their partners.
Staying calm and handling issues with a clear mind makes it easy to process situations that would typically get to you. Listening to your partner’s nagging expressions can help you filter what’s important from the nagging.
For instance, your partner can continuously complain about you not being homely enough. They could nag about you being too untidy with things around the house.
It is natural for your ego to feel targeted, but you need to listen to what they are complaining about. You could channel some energy into addressing the real issue if the argument is logical and valid. It wouldn’t kill if you work towards a cleaner home and watch how fast the complaints would stop.
To be sure, you could respond with questions like, “could you specify how you would want me to maintain a clean space?” You must be willing to play your part positively without taking the issue personally. This is because more input from you may be needed to get the relationship at a steady and safe pace.
To further help the case, you can be more responsible by making conscious effort into incorporating productive habits. Evident participation and appropriate apologise can help to get past the critical phase and gear both of you towards conflict resolution.
Dealing with a nagging partner requires that you grow past the idea that it’s you against your partner. You need to provide an avenue that addresses your needs as a couple and how the situation can be managed.
This agreement should also mean that you both agree on one thing without the need to impose on each other’s ideas and come to a full understanding void of complications. You and your partner can also arrange for a healthy way to communicate with each other.
Taking notes of things that are being criticized by your partner can help you easily address issues that might affect your relationship. You can jot them down and access them critically. Take it as a tool to help with self-reflection, and see it as a means to help your relationship grow.
Don’t bring them up in the nearest future as a means to attack your partner when arguments become heated. Bring your partner’s attention to how you also feel in situations where you also need to air your views. it helps not to pile up your concerns, so it’s best to address them immediately.
Nagging and criticism are unhealthy for any relationship that is looking to build positively. You can start making changes in your marriage when you start treating your spouse’s nagging and stop feeling like a victim.