Do you want to save yourself from heartbreak by knowing some warning signs of a player? Well, you should. It’s quite unfortunate that most of us have to date a few, if not more unserious, men or women, before we finally meet the person who’s ready to settle down. Such relationships often lead to heartbreak, if not worse. Most importantly, they teach us lessons about being in a relationship and gives us reasons to cherish our soul mates when we finally meet them.
However, we don’t have to relearn these lessons or experience multiple heartbreaks by dating a player repeatedly. So it’s essential to know how to identify a player when you meet one or start dating one. Here are 12 warning signs of a player in a relationship, which you need to know to save yourself the stress.
1. They keep a lot of secrets
When someone wants to play you in a relationship, they guard details about themselves so dearly. He or She won’t share the intimate details of their life and wouldn’t be interested in yours as much. They may tell you the basics about them and make you think you know them, but when you think about it, you don’t know that much.
Players may usually keep their phones out of your reach and take them wherever they go; they wouldn’t risk placing them in your care for a second. He or She could also hide text messages from you and leave your presence to take calls often.
When your partner is secretive, you should pay attention to their actions as this is a warning sign of a player. In a relationship, the people involved should be willing to clear all doubt for it to last; therefore, your partner shouldn’t keep you guessing about what is or isn’t going on with them.
2. They don’t like discussing or making plans for the future
Another warning sign of a player is that they shy away from discussing where the relationship is headed. When confronted with this topic, they’ll indirectly tell you they have no interest in having a committed relationship and do so in a way that leaves you hoping for a potential relationship.
Players are sweet talkers, and you may typically hear them respond with statements like: “It’s great spending time with you, but I’m very busy with work right now.” “I really like you, but right now, I just want to have fun.” “I just broke up with someone, and I’m not ready to get serious yet, let’s see where things go.”
The problem with these kinds of responses is the uncertainty it holds, and it leaves you wondering if you’re in a relationship or just going out on another date. The worst part is, a player doesn’t feel guilty about doing this because they think they are upfront with you.
3. They won’t introduce you to family or close friends
Although it is essential to take time in getting to know each other well so that everyone gets a chance to understand what they are and are not comfortable with. However, if you’ve been going out with this person for over six months and still haven’t received an invitation to meet someone closest to them, it could be a warning sign of a player.
Okay, let’s say meeting family is quite a big deal; how about meeting some of his or her close friends in a casual setting? Usually, getting invited to small parties or group events is a normal part of the dating process. So introducing you to close friends shouldn’t be a problem to someone interested in more than a casual fling.
4. They are always interested in benefits
This is one of the most prominent signs of a player. Players are toxic people who are only interested in what they stand to benefit from the relationship. This could concern money, social status, sex, luxury lifestyle, or other benefits. Although sharing is crucial to preserve a healthy relationship, otherwise, you would worry your partner cares less about you or have someone else with who they share benefits. However, having a relationship entirely based on popularity, meaningless sex, or extravagant spending indicates your partner isn’t interested in you as a person, and you’re being played.
5. They refuse to label the relationship
A common warning sign of a player is that they find it challenging to make things official or label the relationship. Some may lie to you, claiming not to be ready to make things official or avoid having conversations regarding taking things seriously.
Furthermore, players want to have you around despite refusing to tag your relationship. They want to enjoy all the benefits of being in a relationship without taking any relationship responsibility. If the person you are “dating” is skeptical about where the relationship is heading and shies away from discussions about taking you more seriously, that means they aren’t ready for a relationship, or they are playing games with you.
6. They got a lot of ex’s
Does your partner have a lot of exes? Preferably the type with who they “supposedly” are still good friends? If yes, that’s a warning sign of a player you should look out for. Players often find it very easy to get into relationships but find it quite challenging to preserve them for long. These relationships are often overlapped, and the causes of the break up are usually very flimsy. Many people find it annoying when their boyfriends or girlfriends speak positively about their ex, and it could often lead to insecurities in some cases.
On the other hand, you should be worried if they only speak badly about a past relationship, as this could indicate two things.
First, it could be a warning sign of a player who quickly gets into relationships (even if he/she doesn’t like them very much). Secondly, it shows they have little respect for their exes, and probably for everybody they’ve dated. Meaning you may likely be spoken of similarly if you ever break up.
7. They show little interest in getting to know you
One of the key signs of a player is a lack of interest in who you are. When someone is into you, they become interested in your attitudes, personality, opinions and crave to learn you as much as possible. Also, they’d want to make you a part of their life. If the person likes you, he or she would typically tell you everything about themselves and be equally interested in getting to know you as well as share in your life. On the other hand, a player will never do any of these things.
Although some may show little interest by asking your favorite food or color, but wouldn’t want to share in your emotions or opinions on certain things. If the person you’re with doesn’t seem to make any effort to know you better as a person, neither do they want you to learn more about them; that’s an obvious warning sign of a player. Giving you less information about their daily life and routine makes it easier for them to play their game.
Read also: How to stop overthinking your relationship
8. They act differently in public
When you’re together, your players may act so soft and affectionate. In public, however, he or she becomes more distant and less tender. Players like to look single, so they don’t want to seem too clingy to you while in public. Another reason could be because they become nervous they might run into one of their partners at the same spot.
Does your partner seem more detached when there are other women present? Or does she suddenly become so quiet and in a hurry to leave whenever you go outing? Whether it’s on the street or at a function, it doesn’t matter. If there’s a significant difference between your partner’s private and public reaction with you around, that’s a warning sign of a player.
9. They flirt
Another common item amongst the signs of a player would not be faithful to you, even though they have the integrity to label your partnership. It takes much more than not having sex with other partners or not engaging in sexual interaction to be loyal, too. Is she still friends with her exes? Did he decline to delete his dating applications or Snapchat and other social media to unfollow a bunch of girls?
Although you can’t be sure if your partner is spending time with any of them, if the person loves you as claimed, they’ll go the extra mile to clear your doubts. If your partner looks out other men or women, even in front of you, making eye contact with them, and finds nothing wrong with this behavior, that’s a warning sign of a player.
A time would come when you’ll find yourself thinking about why you can’t be enough for this person. Another warning sign to look out for in this case is if the person tries to persuade you that it’s somehow your fault they act that way. Then you begin to equate yourself with all the other people and utterly ruin your self-esteem in the process.
Also read: Friendship before dating; 7 reasons
10. They are peculiar liars
Lies are warning signs of a player you shouldn’t overlook. Players seem to have an explanation for everything, which never seem to be concrete enough. They would avoid naming certain persons, locations, or periods and would leave their stories very ambiguous and fuzzy.
When you ask a player where she’s been or what he took so long, they give a vague response like, “I stopped by to see a friend,” or something urgent came up, and I had to go out of town.” It’s quite tough for players to keep track of all their lies, so pay attention to the details.
11. They cheated before
Believe it or not, a cheat once is a cheat still. According to Kayla Knapp’s report at Denver University, people who’ve ever had an affair with others while in a relationship are even three times more likely to cheat again.
It’s shocking how people go into a relationship or sometimes cheat with a married person and want them to be loyal to them. If your connection was initiated by infidelity, chances are the person would do the same thing to you as they did to their ex. If from the moment you met the person, you knew he or she is a cheat, that person might as well be a player.
12. Your intuition would tell you
Well, you’re actually on the web searching for warning signs of a player; something about your relationship or your intuition must have triggered you, I presume. If thinking about where you stand in the person’s life makes you anxious and insecure, then there’s something wrong somewhere.
Do not hurry to quit your relationship because you can relate to a few player’s characteristics in this article. There might probably be other explanations for such behavior. However, if you discover that the person you’re dating possesses many warning signs of a player, proceed with caution. You might just be spending your time with them, building something that doesn’t exist, and getting ready for a broken heart. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comment section.